Failtasmic!
by BroadwayNerd
Summary: Fantasmic!, from the villain's point of view. Contains elements from the Disneyland & Disney World versions. Don't take this too seriously, I'm just trying to be funny.
1. Eternal Optimists

Failtasmic Chapter 1-Eternal Optimists

AN: I was reading the Wikipedia page for Fantasmic! and there was a section that talked about the difference between the Disneyland and Disney World versions. Then I thought; how can I relate/combine them and create a fanfiction? And that's why you're reading this instead of a Great Mouse Detective nextgen fic. (But I haven't given up hope on that idea yet) Anyways, Disney owns everything. Even your soul. (Kidding!)

The Villains League was not happy.

Or rather, the villains on the League's High Council were not happy.

Currently, their anger was directed at five specific villains, those five being Ursula, Queen Grimhilde, Maleficent, Captain Hook, and in a rare twist of events, Chernabog.

"So let me get this straight," Jafar said, fuming. "You attacked Mickey inside his imagination."

"You must admit, it was much better than your crackpot plan last Halloween." Maleficent replied, glaring at the sorceror.

Hades chuckled. Jafar shot him a dirty look and continued.

"That's not the point. You five went behind our backs! Now, if you had suceeded, this wouldn't have been a problem. But you failed, and now there are heroes watching us nearly every moment, and that is your fault!"

"Hook started it," Ursula said quickly, pointing to the pirate captain, who made a strangled, high-pitched squeak and promptly fainted. "If he hadn't gone for it, Grimhilde would never have gotten the idea!"

"I am capable of thinking for myself, you know." The Queen said, pouting.

"That's quite true," Maleficent said. The Queen smirked. "After all, Grimhilde was the one that called us together." The smirk quickly turned to an expression of nervousness as all the eyes of the Council turned to the vain woman.

"Is this true?" Frollo asked.

The other four (minus Hook, who was still unconcious) nodded eagerly. Grimhilde made a whimpering sound, similar to the one Hook had made before he passed out from fear.

"Hmm... Nevertheless, the punishment should extend to all of them." Lady Tremaine adressed her fellow Council members.

"Woah, wait a minute! Hear me out, guys." Ursula exclaimed. "I know it didn't work this time, but if we had a few more people, we've got a clear shot at taking down Mickey in his own mind! Are ya with me?"

Hades grinned. "I'm in, babe." Lady Tremaine scowled. "This is ridiculous. What makes you think that a few more villains would make a difference? Besides, it would only be in Mickey's imagination."

Maleficent quickly caught on to Ursula's scheme. "The mental blow would weaken him enough physically that we could defeat him both inside his mind as well as outside. But we'll need some very powerful villains..."

Jafar stood up. "Very well. I suppose I'll help you."

Maleficent and Ursula shared a trimphant smirk as Frollo, Cruella De Vil, and Scar echoed the statement.

This was going to be _epic_.

AN: Whaddya think? Leave a review with your opinion! After all, we writers need constructive criticism to improve! Flames will be given to the villains, which they will probably use on Mickey. Roasted mouse, anyone?


	2. Hissy Fits

**Failtasmic! Chapter 2-Hissy Fits**

**AN: Guess what? Tokyo Disneyland is working on their own version of Fantasmic! (So let's hope that they take longer than I do so that I don't have to rewrite this.) Now then, it's disclaimer time! Disney owns this stuff, got it? Good. Now you can get on with your reading.**

**I apologize in advance for the copious use of italics.**

Throw a bunch of villains together, put them in the same room, and then try to get them to work together and agree on things.

You can see why these people are defeated by the heroes now, can't you?

First, we have Scar, Hook, and Cruella...

"...And _I_ say that your plan is completely idiotic!"

"Of course _you_ would say that, after all, it takes one to know one!"

"You're _both_ idiots! Now shut up and listen to me!"

And then Hades, Jafar, and Frollo...

"...That is possibly the _worst_ plan I have _ever_ heard."

"Oh, _please_. I doubt you could come up with better."

"Ha! I accept your challenge! Just give me a minute..."

"...Oh Lord, why me? Why _them_?"

And of course, Grimhilde, Chernabog, and Ratcliffe.

"Really? That's your '_brilliant_' plan?"

"It nearly worked the last time!"

"Well, 'nearly' isn't good enough, is it?"

"You know, I have this _great _idea that's completely foolproof... But of course nobody listens to _me_."*

"Would everybody just _shut up_!" Ursula stood fuming in the doorway, arms crossed. Maleficent stood behind her, looking equally annoyed.

The villains did the smart thing (for once), and stopped arguing to look at the cecaelian and fairy.

"_Fi_-nally. Now, before any of you say anything about your 'amazing' plan to defeat Mickey, Maleficent and I have something to say."

"In other words, we have a plan and it's far better than any of yours." The dark fairy said, smirking.

Ursula, with a smirk of her own, began to speak.

"So here's how it's gonna go down...

We start with Grimhilde, like last time. She calls me, Cruella, Frollo, and Scar, and we all gang up on the mouse. Then we get Jafar in snake form to attack...

Ok, so we haven't exactly figured out this next part, but eventually, somehow, Jafar will call up Hades and Chernabog and triple-team the lil' rodent. Then, we get Maleficent in dragon form to deal the final blow, and we're free to take on Mickey in the real world. Any questions?"

To a villain, the phrase 'Any questions?' is an invitation to complain and whine and ask _really stupid questions_.

"When are we doing this again?"

"This is a pathetic excuse for a plan! What we should do is..."

"Wait, so we're inside Mickey's head? Are we inside his head _right now_?"

However, once in a while, someone manages to be sensible.

Today, that someone was Hades. "What about Ratcliffe and Hook? What are they doing?" The two aforementioned villains, hearing their names, finally realized that they had not been mentioned in Ursula's plan.

"This is an outrage!" Hook shouted, bristling with indignity. "I am _leaving_!"

And so he did. The villains stared at Ratcliffe expectantly.

"Oh, please. You expect me to throw a temper tantrum over this one little thing? I'm sure we can think of _something_ to solve this problem." He said calmly.

"I must admit, Governor, I'm impressed that you're taking it so well. If only others could be so gracious." Maleficent said with a smile that almost seemed genuine.

But only almost, because the Mistress of All Evil can't really smile.

Meanwhile, Ursula was struggling to come up with another plan, which was a rarity for her.

"Maleficent, can you help me out here?"

Maleficent grinned widely. They may be allies now, but the green woman had always had something of a rivalry with Ursula, and seeing her at a loss for words now was extremely gratifying.

"Having troubles, are we? Very well. Perhaps we could send the Governor in first, apart from the rest of us, to distract and disorient the little rodent."

"It would be my pleasure." Ratcliffe said confidently.

Maleficent nodded cooly. "Good, because refusal was not an option." (She was nicknamed 'the dragon-lady' for a reason, you know...)

"And you understand that if this falls through, you are now our scapegoat."

Ratcliffe gulped nervously. Several villains exchanged evil grins.

"...Very well..."

"Excellent. We will strike in two nights' time. I will give you the hour and place where we shall meet next shortly. Now get out of my sight, all of you!" Maleficent ordered.

All those present obeyed quickly. Villains may not be as smart as they'd have you believe, but they do still posess _some_ intelligence...

But only some.

***I have this theory that Chernabog actually does talk (and probably has really good stuff to say), but nobody hears him, so most of the time he just doesn't say anything.**


	3. Technical Difficulties

Failtasmic Chapter 3-Technical Difficulties

I swear, I had meant to have this chapter up ages ago. It was pretty much done about half a year ago. I just keep getting busy with other life things, like new jobs and school. I'm in university now, so if I don't update for a while (again), you know why.

"...No."

"What?" The Lord of the Underworld roared, the flames on his head flaring red and orange.

"I said no. I'm not doing it." Syndrome, whose fiery red hair matched Hades' flames, crossed his arms over his chest. "I mean, what's in this for me? Nothing. Jeez, talk about a rip off. I give you access to my technology so you can conquer Mickey, and you'll just keep treating me as the same second-rate villain every one of you thinks I am. Thanks, but no thanks. Okay?"

Hades growled at the mortal. "No, that is definitely _not_ okay, you little..." He stopped, taking a few deep breaths. The flames on his head returned to their normal blue, and he gave the redhead his most winning smile. "Look, _Buddy_, if you do this, and we win, I can promise you you'll get the respect you so richly deserve. You'll be hailed as the guy who made it all possible. You give us the means to defeat the mouse, and you'll be a hero among villains. Deal?"

Syndrome scowled back at him. "Don't call me Buddy. And no, no deal."

"Well, I gave you a chance." The blue god said, sighing and turning to leave. "Guess we'll just have to go with Drakken instead..."

"Wait a minute."

Hades grinned to himself.

_Hook..._

"_Drakken_?! You've got to be kidding me! He's a complete moron! He's not even a real inventor!"

"Well, who else could do it? Dementor? Yagoobian?" Hades asked, turning back to face the supervillain.

"Oh, don't even get me started on Yagoobian! His stupid little bowler hat is smarter than he is!"

_...Line..._

"I'm the only one who could possibly do this, Hades."

The god raised a flaming eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Really."

"Prove it." Hades challenged.

"I will! I'm going to build you a device that can get you into Mickey's subconscious, and trust me, it's going to be way better than anything anyone else could come up with! So there!"

_...Aaand sinker!_

So this is a little shorter than usual, but I felt that this was where the scene should end, and I like doing one scene per chapter. Ideally, future chapters will be longer than this… Cross your fingers.


End file.
